when i think about you i touch myself

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Katy Perry looked as if she never wanted to be touched again after Jason Greene got through singing "I Touch Myself."
And who could blame her, really, after the 21-year-old from L.A. got down on his knees and invited Simon Cowell to join him on Tuesday's American Idol?
"As much as I want to spend a lot of time with this," Simon began, when Jason quickly cut him off with, "Do you want to spend a lot of time with it?"
"I feel dirty," Perry declared, adding, "and it takes a lot to make me feel dirty."
"Especially in that shirt," Jason retorted, referring to her low-cut red top.
You'd think he'd be smarting after that wholehearted rejection from the judges, but no.
"They did enjoy this, every inch of it," the wannabe provacateur told Ryan Seacrest outside the audition room before offering up his number and entreating the Idol host to give him a call.
"As much as you may believe what you read," Ryan quipped, handing the card to a big, burly bodyguard., "here's the guy you should be giving it to."
Maybe that icky display was what put Perry in such a contrary mood (at least according to Idol's edits).
It's not like she was Avril Lavigne, saying no to one guy's dream because he was married with three kids ("You have to leave everything, it's difficult out there on the road," she advised worship pastor Jim Ranger, who made it to Hollywood anyway).
But Perry had plenty left in the tank for former foster kid Chris Golightly—and Kara DioGuardi.
"What happened to girl power?!" Kara protested as Perry persisted in poking fun at her fellow judge.
"This isn't a Lifetime Movie, honey," the "Hot and Cold" singer informed Kara when she complimented Chris on both his vocals and his touching back story.
"I feel like Simon and Katy are ganging up on me!" Kara cried.
Well, that's because they were. Hmmm, think Katy might be up for a full-time gig next year?
P.S. Chris wound up being one of 23 aspiring stars who made it to Hollywood week, despite getting onlt a yes with a "small y" from Perry. Idol returns tomorrow with auditions from Dallas, featuring guest judges Joe Jonas and Neil Patrick Harris.